What No One Tells You About Healing

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Have you ever thought, “If I could just lose the weight, feel more energized, and have less pain everything would be better?”  For a long time, I let thoughts like this flow on repeat through my mind. I thought that if I could just fix all that was wrong with my body, my life would be so much happier.  If I would only lose those last 10 pounds, make the chronic pain go away and have more energy, all would be easier. I stayed on the wheel of trying to eat healthier, find the right doctor and set up the proper routine to increase my energy and productivity for years.  Sometimes, I’d have small successes in each area, but continuously I found myself failing in my attempts, stuck back in my thoughts and wishes, frustrated and creating new lists.


I finally changed when I stopped trying to do things myself, in my head, and I asked for help.  When I surrounded myself with people who were where I wanted to be – happy, healthy & authentically successful – I began to heal and change.


What no one told me about healing was how much my journey to full health was my own work, not the work of my doctor, therapist, trainer or coach.  No one told me to get the freedom and release I was looking for I would need to stop looking outside of myself for what could only be done within.


Healing is an opportunity to transform not only the physical, but the emotional and spiritual too.  It is an invitation to look at how you are living your life, what has happened in your past and where you want to be in the future.  Doctors can give diagnosis and treatments, but you are the one that must do the healing. Doctors do not choose food for you at every meal (and between every meal!).  They do not choose the way you handle stress. They do not decide how you engage with your emotions. They do not select or prioritize your to-do list, your intentions, your relationships or your habits.  That is all you, healing sister.


From my 10+ years in healthcare what I know for sure is that all these behaviors and day-to-day lifestyle choices matter more to your healing than anything else.  They matter just as much, if not more, than the pill, the surgery, the treatment. How you treat your body, how you think, and what you believe impacts your health and only you have full and total responsibility.


What I also know for sure is that behavioral change is hard.  To make a decision, a list or a commitment to change, eat differently, think differently, live differently, takes more than just a pen and a piece of paper.  It often takes learning something new, setting a clear intention, engaging in accountability, finding support, and community.


You want to crack the healing code and elevate to the next level?  Try starting here:


Set Intention:  Get clear on what it is you want.  Write in the present tense what you want.  For example, “My body moves with ease, energy, and joy” OR “I love getting up early to pray and meditate.  It sets up my entire day with peace and grounding.” Then, write out all the thoughts in your mind that keep you from that truth.  After you get ALL the negative chatter, doubt, fear, excuses onto the page, go back through and respond to the negative thoughts with your authentic, wiser voice.  

Engage Accountability: If you are new at this and really want transformation, I highly suggest you hire someone to support the transition to be accountable. A coach or clinician that agrees to hold you to your desire is often the spark that ignites your momentum; these trained professionals can guide you into action and gently hold you accountable in a way that keeps you moving forward when you feel stuck or confused.  If you have a good friend that you know will keep your feet to the fire, ask them to support you and set a date/time to check in regularly.

Find Your Tribe: Look for other people trying to make the changes you desire and engage with them, share with them, and spend regular time with them.  There is nothing more powerful than being connected to people who validate and encourage you, while getting to do the same for them in return.


I lost the 10 pounds.  The pain went away. My energy increased.  The changes did make life more manageable, but I was still me.  I still was not totally happy. That is when I realized that underneath the weight, the pain, the fatigue, I was still ME.  I still had the same habits, the same thoughts, the same actions as before I lost the weight, the pain, the fatigue. The real change I wanted was to be different internally.  I really wanted to be healthier on the inside as well as the outside. I wanted to be more courageous, to feel like I belonged, to release fear, to try to build my own business, to try (again) at love, to say I’m sorry and to be a woman who made healthy choices every day in all areas of my life.  When I was willing to lean in and make those change, the ones only I could make, then I learned the secret code to healing.


In health & healing,

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